FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT

As I am writing this article, we are in a holding pattern regarding Sofia. It is a very uncomfortable place for us to be. We like to have things we can focus on and accomplish. Right now, there are no distractions with treatments, we are just prayerfully waiting. All the while we are trying to enjoy the time we have with our happy, developing, and fun-loving baby girl. I feel a bit like a pinball being bounced to-and-fro by waves of sorrow and happiness, sorrow with the diagnosis and happiness that we still have her with us. But dear friends, let me assure you, God is still in control and He is to be trusted. Let me tell you how God has been sovereignly working and preparing our family for this trial. It’s important to see because it can encourage you that Christ is not only preparing us for our ordained trials but when they come, Christ Himself walks with you through them. With that in mind, in this article I would like to share with you some of the ways God had been providentially preparing us to endure this trial. My hope is that just like me, you would see Gods loving-kindness, and tender care of His sheep in the midst of tragedy.

God has been prepping us for this trial for years, this didn’t happen overnight. For those of you who do not know, Justin used to be in the military. This required us moving every couple of years and Justin being gone for months at time. We decided as a family to get out of the military a few years ago so we could settle back home with family. God, in his perfect timing, graciously waited for us to be settled at our beloved church before giving us this particular trial. Once at our home church, our beloved shepherd preached through 1^st Peter, a book directly regarding suffering. He reminded us that for the Christian you are either entering into a trial, in the middle of one, or just coming out of one.  Next, to tangibly teach us these spiritual realties, several of our saints at our church went home to be with the Lord. As I watched my brothers and sisters in Christ go through their trials, it taught me what Christian suffering should look like. I was reminded by witnessing them endure under trials that if God is keeping them, He will also keep me when the time comes. 

It’s important to see because it can encourage you that Christ is not only preparing us for our ordained trials but when they come, Christ Himself walks with you through them.

Thinking on the words from the Scriptures and watching the saints suffer, I decided to start listening and reading to resources to prepare my heart and mind for when our time would come. I was sure something, sometime would come. Our shepherd made that clear. One of the podcasts I listened to was titled The Theology of Suffering by Just Thinking. There were so many awesome truths shared in this particular podcast but the main thing I took away was this verse from Ecclesiastes 7:14 which says, “In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.” This verse soon became my life verse over the past year. I would annoy my husband with quoting it so often just because I felt like it applied to everything. I found the balance of this verse so comforting. When things are going well, we should be joyful and thankful, not worrying about the times when things will be bad but remember that God made these days for us. Additionally, when we face adversity of various kinds of trials, we must remember God made these days as well. If we can remember that God made both days, then we can see both the good days and the bad in light of what God wants us to glean and learn from both. Now, in the midst of a trial, I can acknowledge God made these days for a purpose and humbly seek that this trial would have its perfect work in me (James 1:2-4). What an unbelievable freedom and comfort this can be for the Christian!

Most recently, in addition to the podcast, over the past year before everything happened with Sofia I had been studying through the book of Philippians with a sister from church. If you don’t know the major theme in Philippians is: Christ the source of joy and strength. It is no coincidence that I had been studying this glorious book of the Bible over the past year. The Lord has truly been sustaining us daily and giving us strength that can only can come from him. One of the first verses that had come to my mind was Philippians 1:6 which says, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in your will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” My mind was so overwhelmed with Sofia’s diagnosis but this verse came rushing to my mind in that hospital bed. I was reminded that even though I felt so weak and incapable of enduring, God will keep me. My confidence was and is in Him, and that gave me peace. It has been so helpful to look back on this book and remember Paul’s attitude towards his own suffering. He saw his trial as an opportunity for the gospel (Phil 1: 12-13), a means to have a heavenward focus (Phil 1:21), a reminder to look on Christ’s example in chapter two for motivation, and to remember the surpassing value of knowing Christ (3:7-9). Additionally, in chapter four Paul shows us a pattern on how to deal with worry and or anxiety:  proper prayer (vs 6), what to replace our thoughts with (vs 8), and then action (vs 9). I did not know at the time of studying this book that just months later we would be given the most devastating news; but God knew. He knew and He was graciously and providentially preparing me. 

I was reminded that even though I felt so weak and incapable of enduring, God will keep me. My confidence was and is in Him, and that gave me peace.

There are so many other things the Lord has done and is still doing that I just do not have the time to get into. However, I hope no one misunderstands what I am trying to say in this article. God’s providence is not some weird mysticism. It’s not our job to go around trying to figure out exactly what God’s doing in the moment. I’m convinced, and you should be as well, that our job is to be faithful and obedient. Providence is looking back and giving God the proper recognition and praise while saying, “that was God working, that was not by accident.” Often when you’re reading your Bible and praying, you don’t feel anything, however, you must remember you are storing up treasure for yourself for the day of your trial.  Like a team practicing, you spend time learning the plays and practicing the moves, but one day it’s time to play the game. For now, that’s where we are and we are grateful. 

It’s not our job to go around trying to figure out exactly what God’s doing in the moment.

I am so thankful that we can not only look to Christ and His word for encouragement but we can also look back and see all the ways he has been directing our steps. I pray that you would begin to see the seemingly inconsequential things that we do are not so inconsequential after all. God is using all those things we do, just trying to be faithful Christians, to grow us into the image of His Son as well as prepare us for our trials. I pray that you would join us in looking back and respond with gratefulness to the God who directs our every step (Proverbs 16:9).